Tis the season?

Oh my. Winter running.
Arg. Winter running.

Why did I choose to live in a little part of the city that is cold and frosty and snowy far beyond anything else?

And why did I structure all of my short runs around this area?

Well, because it's beautiful, and because there are great running trails in the spring, summer and fall.

Today I finally got out for a longer run, but I have decided that I need to head lower down to run at the moment, which means that I need to run sans jogging stroller and sans kiddo. This means that I need to find a time to run instead of having it slide nicely into my commute home.

Ah well, the winter solstice is upon us. Soon the days will get longer and I will be able to see where I'm going...and what I'm going to slip on!

Methinks some cross training in the gym might be in order. I've also decided to lower my expectations for December and January. I'm aiming for maintaining rather than increasing my run distance. Tis the season for ice and snow, after all.

Now...will I be ready for that 1/2 marathon in February? Stay tuned.

Yahoo! It's...International Diabetes Day!

Well, maybe not yahoo.
But happy International Diabetes Day anyway.
Downtown, people are getting together to make giant blue human circles - the international diabetes symbol.

Me, I'm getting ready to knit my piece of the world's largest knitted sculpture - a diabetes awareness ribbon. Yep, it's finally happening. Michaels is donating a whack of grey yarn, and the word is starting to spread. I'm even getting email from people I don't know!

This should be fun. I think that when it's done - all 200 and some-odd feet of it - we'll wrap it as far as it will go around the library. Now that's a yahoo!

To celebrate diabetes day, my body and my pump alarms kept me up until 3 am last night with lowish blood sugar. Thank goodness for my sensor. I did go rather low at one point, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I tend to wake from a strange dream to discover myself shaking, but I get afraid that one day my overnight low WON'T wake me up.

This PMS thing is killing me. Now that my periods are back, and irregular at that, I never know when I'm going to hit a period of PMS-y high blood sugar or plummet into a nasty low. It's a whole new roller coaster. How many years are there until they go away? Oh yeah, there's menopause to go through before that, and I hear that's a doozy too.

Ah, well.

Gold-plated security blankies

I am having a love affair with my sensors.

They're little devices that I stick into my thigh with a nice, big-gauge needle.
And I love them to bits.

They tell my pump what's going on with my blood sugar, and with a little click of a button I can see blood sugar trends and get alarms if I am going low or high.

They're not perfect, and each new one only lasts me about 6 days. The first day is a training day for the sensor, and I don't trust it that day. The next days have been rock solid so far. I used the previous sensor technology, with a giant hanging transmitter that looked an awful lot like a computer mouse. Hated it. It dragged on the sensor and my readings were terribly inaccurate. This one looks like a seashell, it's tiny, and it works so steadily.

They've seen me through 3 weeks of horrible blood sugar, three weeks of the worst blood sugar so far. I've made corrections of multiple units of insulin, trying to send myself flying downwards. It didn't work, by the way. My body was going through some weirdness. Last night, the sensor saw me through multiple slight low blood sugars that would have ended me in unconsciousness had I not woken from my pump's alarms. Evidently the weirdness is now ending, and I'm going back to my original basal rates. And the sensor can tell me this - even if it wakes me every hour to tell me, that's better than not waking at all.

Gotta love em.

The problem? They are danged expensive, and not covered by insurance. They're about $200 for the month. Little gold-plated security blankets, they are. I just shelled out for next month's quota. I just need to find some more consulting work, and I'm all set. Right. Easier said than done!

Beware the muscular bottom

Caution - far too much information below.

Ok, so I started running in May. I have always used a certain type of pump site on my -ahem -rear. It works for me. Or so it seemed.

The last 2 weeks I've had TERRIBLE blood sugar. It was totally random, and I blamed it on stress, PMS, eating at restaurants twice, Thanksgiving (I'm in Canada), everything.

I was awake for ages the last 2 nights, as my insulin requirements to keep me under 300 were more than double my usual insulin. I had visions of using hundreds of units a day, as opposed to my usual 30 or so.

This morning at 4 am I figured it out. My muscles in my bottom have gotten larger from running, and my fat layer is thinner. The Quicksets sometimes work, sometimes not. I'm going to have to switch to another type of pump site (Silhouettes) in my rear (already use them in my tummy).

I used a Silhouette all day, and everything was normal - finally!

This is my official public service announcement for any pumper starting an exercise program: beware the muscular bottom!

The synergistic effect of pizza on blood glucose levels. Or is it the phases of the moon?

So. Pizza. Not the reason that my blood sugar was crazy today by any means. No, that was because my insulin reservoir leaked and my site failed. Auuugggghhh! Luckily, I have a backup stash of my "drugs" and my "supplies" at work, so I was able to fix both things and introduce a program on a blood sugar of 12ish. Can you say fuzzy brain?

But pizza. It is the great mystery of diabetes.
Since I developed diabetes, I have limited myself to 1 slice of homemade pizza at a time. I take too much insulin for it. I check my blood sugar regularly and through the night. Sometimes I can manage it, sometimes I can't. I really, really like pizza, but I am beginning to think that it is just TOO MUCH WORK.

Yes, pizza has a lot of carbs and fat and protein, all stewing together in a little slice of goodness. Mmmmmmmm, pizza. Oh yes, and the fat and protein are converted to sugar overnight, so they slowly raise your blood sugar.

But why can I eat a slice of toast with cheese and meat, and it doesn't work the same way as pizza? I can have said toast with no problem. But not the pizza. I think that there must be some strange chemical reaction going on. The fat and protein and carbs do a little happy dance and make more fat and protein and carbs than there ever were before.

I've tried homemade pizza pockets made with low carb wraps, and they work ok. But they are not quite the same. I've tried pizza soup. Ditto.

When the good fairy comes to cure diabetes, I've got to say: I'm going out for a HUGE pizza, eating every dripping bit, and then I'm going for a run.

Hah! Eat that, pizza!

Pumping and parenting

Ok, I am a bad little blogger. I keep on thinking of things to say, then I get sucked into other endeavours on the computer. I've been doing some consulting work (or starting to do so), and it seems to be an interesting way to putter away my limited nap time. Well, my darling daughter's limited nap time (grin).

So, what's up?
Well, said daughter and I ran our first 10k - the Terry Fox Run - last weekend. I think that I finished in under an hour. Pretty good for a banana break (dd's), a couple of blood sugar checks (mine), a water break (both of us), and running the whole thing with a jogging stroller. Hint: That is NOT good for my back. Ouch. And dd ran the last 1/2 kilometre with me. I had to bribe her with the fact that there was a fire truck waiting for us at the other end. She wanted to fall asleep in the stroller instead. I wanted the photo finish, with toddler.

Speaking of toddlers and pumping, that's on my list of blog "to dos". So, here's a shot at it.

Reasons why diabetes and insulin pumping make parenthood more interesting and enjoyable:

1. An old meter makes a most excellent cell phone for a toddler.
2. Pump backlights are PERFECT for checking on sleeping kiddos. Not too bright.
3. It's very interesting to go for a walk, go low, and realize that you've been singing the same song about underwear ten times in a row to your daughter, and enjoying it all of the way.
4. A site insertion device makes a convenient distraction when you're on the phone.
5. Children love to "feed" mama when she needs to tweak her blood sugar. Imagine the genial toddler: I feed mama? Here, mama? More food, mama? Sure.
6. A baby or toddler or (dare I say) preschooler is the BEST 3 am blood sugar checking reminder in the world. Whatever will I do when dd sleeps through the night consistently?

As for the knitting end of things. I had a story in the paper about the wacky knitting of the world's longest awareness ribbon endeavours, and that set off a possible yarn donation and a possible knitting instructor. Looks like we're rocking. The only thing is: stop this train! It's too busy! It's crazy.

The only good thing about all of this crazy life is that it's preventing me from thinking too hard about embarking on another pregnancy...yet.

Run faster! Faster!

So - I've now started the Learn to Run 10K Faster program. Yesterday I had a great run. I ran a road that took my 45 minutes to do at the beginning. It took me 20 minutes. Yes, I'm still moving at a slooooow pace, but I'm hoping that this program will up my overall speed a bit.

I'm looking forward to my first official run on Sunday, September 16th - the Terry Fox Run. I'm doing 10k in honour of a friend who died of cancer earlier this year.

I also tried out a jogging stroller on the weekend. Whoa. Ok, I was always of the snarky, holier-than-thou opinion that jogging strollers were for yuppies. For shame, for shame. It handles like a dream. The only trick is convincing my two-year-old that it might be interesting to stay in the seat instead of trying to run alongside mama the entire way.

On Trust

Something inside me is broken. Yeah, I know…it’s my pancreas. But when I was diagnosed with diabetes, something else broke too – my trust in my body.

I used to have survivalist fantasies about the end of the world. With all of my ecological knowledge (hah! Right!), I’d head off into the wilderness and survive on my own. I’d live out my happy hippie dream of living off the land. When you need insulin and you depend on the global medical system to survive, there’s not a hope in heck of that happening. Sure, it was a fantasy, but it gave me trust in the ability of my body to get through anything I could throw at it.

I approached pregnancy the same way. I don’t believe that women are broken. I believe in my body’s capacity to create life and nurture it and give birth to a child. That broke too, because without modern medicine my daughter and I wouldn’t be here.

Now running is starting to give me a bit of that trust back. I still have to use my brain to overcome my body’s challenges, but I am starting to feel like I can do things. Things like run a LONG WAY.

There’s another trick I’m trying too. It’s a mental construct that’s working for me in some respects.

You see, another blogger posted about a young woman who believes that cancer is the body’s failed attempt at self-repair. Our bodies haven’t learned how to regrow damaged parts, but cancer is trying. It’s part of an evolution.

I like this idea. I can see how it might relate to autoimmune disorders, too. Recent research pointed to the fact that pancreatic cells aren’t getting the “go juice” that they need, and this triggers and autoimmune process. So you see, my body is getting rid of a part that is damaged. Smart body. It just hasn’t figured out how to clean out the damaged parts and regrow a new one. One day, maybe all of these cancers and autoimmune disorders will result in STRONGER people. People who are more resilient. People who can restore themselves.

And my body, right now, is part of that evolution.

This makes me trust a little bit more.

Bottles and butter

Just got back from a vacation. I'm running longer runs - long being an hour or so. I've discovered that my endorphins start to kick in around 35 minutes of running. Then I feel HAPPEEEEEEE! And spaced-out. So I start to obsessively check my blood sugar, because that's how I feel when I'm low.

On another note, my daughter is totally focused on plastic water bottles at the moment. I find these to be wasteful, toxic, and generally blech. She loves em. We just got her a clean, stainless-steel one, so hopefully that helps. Her focus makes me so worried, though. Drinking a lot of water is a sign of diabetes. No word from Trialnet yet about whether she has Type 1 diabetes antibodies, but so far her blood sugar is fine. But why oh why does a Type 1 diabetic get a kiddo who's so interested in drinking water as a hobby???!!!

Another water bottle point of interest. I've decided that I will multi-task when I am jogging. My water bottle sloshes around so much, I've decided to buy whipped cream, but it into another bottle, and make butter as I jog. Tee hee. I may just give it a try this week. Yum, organic butter.

My knitting plans are stressing me out. I now have a knit-a-thon scheduled for September 22nd at Lonsdale Quay. Now I need to do PR! AUGH!

Roadblocks

Ok, I'm, hitting a mental roadblock in this running thing.
I'm on strike (literally) at work at the moment, so that threw my pace off a bit. I normally run home from work. So now I'm running to my strike.

And there is a killer, killer hill that I need to get over to get there. Yesterday the outline said, "Run 40 minutes, walk 1 minute, run 20 minutes." Yeah, right. The outline didn't see that hill!

I almost made it up without walking. I tried to be tough. But when your running speed slows to below walking speed...well, it's a little discouraging.

I figure that this hill is mine to conquer. Once I'm back to work (soon, please!), I will make this my weekend run. If I can get up this danged hill, a marathon should be a piece of cake. Right?

Just a few of my Diabetes Rules!

When I was thinking about my last post, I decided to make a note of some of my personal “diabetes rules.” I stopped when I got to the end of my piece of paper. It got too overwhelming!
Whatever happened to that “eat well, take your insulin, and exercise” myth about diabetes management?

Everyone’s body is so very different. These are my rules for my body, gleaned over two years of diabetes. They include:

Exercise:
If I exercise right before a meal, I set my basal (background) insulin to 25%

If I exercise for up to 3 hours after a meal, I need to eat to bring my blood sugar up to AT LEAST 9, then monitor several times during exercise to make sure I don’t go low.

If I plan to exercise right after a meal, I give myself 2/3 of the insulin for the meal (less if it will be strenuous exercise), and give myself 50% up front and 50% over the next hour.

Meals:
For breakfast, I take my insulin all at once. I can eat eggs, Red River cereal, steel cut oats or buckwheat, tofu, or yogurt and fruit. That’s all. Anything else makes my blood sugar NASTY.

At lunch, my body is a bit slower to digest the food. I take 50% of my insulin up front, and 50% over the next two hours.

For dinner, I take 50% of my insulin up front, and 50% over the next three hours.

If I want to eat fatty foods, I take less up front and more over time.

I eat low-glycemic foods that reduce the “spike” in my blood sugar. If I eat high glycemic foods like corn or potatoes or melons, I take more insulin up front.

Treats:
Because treats aren't really meals, but treats are good for my mental health.

I can eat dark chocolate, the occasional cheesecake, and Breyers light ice cream. Any other sweet treats need to be eaten right before a walk so that I can bring my blood sugar down right away. Cake and cookies and other baked goods like muffins are OUT.


Sleeping:

2 hours after dinner, my blood sugar should be around 7. If it is not 7, I correct by eating. If it is too high, I wait and see.

At bed time, my blood sugar should be 7 or just under. Repeat the process above.

Every night, I wake up 1-2 times a night to make sure that my blood sugar is not too low or too high.

Sites:
I change my pump infusion site (where the insulin goes into my body) every 2.5 days. I change it in the mid-afternoon or before dinner. That way, it doesn’t stop working (or not even start working) overnight, and I don’t have a high blood sugar catastrophe. Theoretically.

I use one sort of pump site on my tummy and another on my – ahem – rear end.


So this is what’s going on in my head during the average day. And more. Oh yeah, and testing my blood sugar 10-12 times a day, correcting it with food or insulin. Woo hoo! Diabetes. It sure ain’t “eat well and exercise” anymore, baby!

The diabetes rules

What are the diabetes rules?

A friend at work was discussing her recent first aid training. The firemen who were teaching the course actually talked about the symptoms of low and high blood sugar. A first, in my books. I've never gone through that in level one first aid before.

This got me to thinking about the general public's knowledge about diabetes "rules". Well, that and the fact that my great-aunt's chocolate cake recipe is heading to the newspapers tomorrow. You see, I do a bit of work with the media through my job as an education coordinator. Today I was asked to submit my favourite recipe to the local newspaper. I thought. I pondered. I decided that my great-aunt's chocolate cake was a sure winner.

Now, I am involved in a local project to connect those who can't afford fruits and veggies with yummy, locally-grown produce. I am a member of a local organic farm and eat truckloads of organic greens every week in the summer. My fridge is full of them as I write. Am I shaming myself as a person with diabetes and a greens lover? Am I setting a bad example?

There is a prevailing myth that people with diabetes can't eat refined sugar. But it's not that simple. You see, I use insulin to eat. To eat ANYTHING. Heck, even soy burgers and my bean sprouts have carbohydrates in them. Insulin turns soy burgers and sprouts and yes, even chocolate cake into useful energy for my body.

It's a fine balance, and it's a lot more complicated than "don't eat sugar." All sugars are not equal. Corn spikes my blood sugar, because it's a fast-acting carbohydrate. An equal amount of pasta will raise my blood sugar slowly, over a number of hours. A meal with fat slows the food in my tummy down, reducing spikes in my blood sugar. It doesn't matter whether that fat comes from ice cream or avocado. It has the same impact on my blood sugar. Ok, maybe not on my arteries, but my arteries are currently VERRRRY happy, thank you very much. Oh yeah, and I can eat very few sorts of food on an empty stomach, since everything I eat seems to barrel right on into my bloodstream.

So, diabetes rules are complex. They're personal, to a degree. And although chocolate cake isn't really on my list of favoured foods for everyday eating, dang it - it's an important part of a happy lifestyle. Isn't it?I'm not going to outlaw chocolate cake. The world would be a more dire and dismal place.

By the way, I compromised. I added the option to substitute whole wheat flour and grated zucchini in the chocolate cake.

Now where's my halo????

Mental wanderings

A friend died recently. More of an acquaintance of long standing – he didn’t let a lot of people in. He had a lot of questions about life, and at the end, I don’t think that he had found the answers that he was looking for. That was hard.

During a longer run last week, I started thinking about lives and how they are lived, and about my daughter’s future.

I would like her to:

Experience joy.

Feel freedom, the freedom that she can do and be and go anywhere she wants, any time she wants to.

Appreciate what it feels like to give of herself to someone else, unconditionally.

Feel trust in herself and in others.

It has taken me two years to occasionally feel trust and freedom again. At the beginning of this diabetes journey, I felt that I would never be able to let my guard down. Diabetes is such a 24 hour a day disease, requiring vigilance even during sleep. My body was not to be trusted. I still feel this way to a degree, but I admit that sometimes there are snatches of time when I forget that I need to remain vigilant. And they are wonderful.

On being normal

"It's good that there's so much technology out there to help manage diabetes. You can still live a normal life."

Sure?

Well, for one thing, I've never lived a normal life, not even pre-diabetes, but I digress. Normal is what you make of it.

But honestly, life with diabetes is not normal. Diabetes is an invisible disease, only visible in its complications. It is not readily apparent that something is "wrong" with me. This does not mean that life with diabetes is easy.

One night before dinner, as I put the food on the table, my daughter and my husband started to eat. I went off to change my pump site. Then I wandered into the kitchen to test my blood sugar and record the results. Then I counted the carbs in my dinner and put all of that through the pump, which delivered the insulin. I was ready to eat. My husband was almost done.

I said, "Did you know that some people don't have to change their pump site and test their blood sugar before they eat?"
"Yes," he said. "They're on injections."
"No," I said. "People like you!"

The other day, I was thinking about what would happen if my daughter developed diabetes. Again, she can "live a normal life." But here's the thing: I don't want her to have to try to be normal.

I test upwards of ten times a day so that I can live a normal life. I plan every bit of eating and exercise I do throughout a day, and I move around a lot. This is hard. It's hard to think about everything you eat and every step you take throughout a day! I've even gone low at library story time, when we were doing a lot of bounces with the babies (it was right after breakfast, and I'd given myself a normal amount of insulin for the meal, never thinking that baby-bouncing would count as "exercise").

This normal life also has a toll on those around me. I forget that. I don't want to think about it.

My darling daughter appears quite healthy, so far. She enjoys playing with my old meter. She likes to have a "poke" and change her "site" when mama does.

Last night, I was making up some pretend test strips for her to put in her toy meter. She knew exactly where to put them, which makes sense, because she sees me do this umpteen times a day. I did a quick calculation and discovered that since my daughter was born, I've tested my blood sugar more than seven thousand times, likely approaching 8000. I thought that this was somewhat amusing, and it explained why my child whips out the test strips and inserts them in the meter like a pro.

I told this to my husband. His response was that he hated this damn disease and its impact on our lives. He ranted on for some minutes about this.

This is my normal life.

Tomorrow's run

Tomorrow I go for a 52 minute run.

I will run up into a local park, along a road inhabited by other runners, bikers, and dog walkers.

I’ll run past a spring, through alder forests and over a waterfall.

I’ll listen to the thrushes that only live here in the summer time

And look at the salmonberries.

I will find a quiet place in my mind.

Tomorrow I am running 5 minutes on, one minute off.

I hope I’m prepared.

I can't believe it!

I just submitted my record attempt to the Guinness Book of World Records. That feels so good. And intimidating.

Does this mean I really have to do this?

AAAAAHHHHH!

Genes play a role...

An interesting study from the Joslin Diabetes Centre in the USA. They've been studying those who have survived type 1 diabetes for 50+ years, and it looks like genes play a HUGE role in the development (or not) of complications.

May, 2007

In the three years since the start of the second phase of the Joslin 50-Year Medalist study, we have studied over 275 Medalists who have traveled to Joslin. In addition, we are scheduled to study another 150 Medalists in the last year of this study. To those who have already participated, we would like to thank you for all your efforts and help. For those of you who are scheduled to come during the next few months, we are looking forward to meeting you and learning from you.

In the following, I will provide a brief summary of the results that we have obtained thus far. In the first phase of the study, which took place three years ago, we asked many of you to fill out an extensive questionnaire and provide some laboratory data from your doctor. The results from these questionnaires and lab results provided the very interesting finding that close to 50% of you appear to have escaped complications which occur in almost all diabetic patients by 30 years duration. These complications include eye disease (retinopathy), kidney disease (nephropathy) and nerve disease (neuropathy). Further, we have found that both genetic and metabolic factors are important in the prevention of complications in type 1 diabetic patients.

The results showed that as a group, Medalists have controlled their glucose very well for many years. In addition, hemoglobin A1c, a measure of chronic glucose control, does not seem to correlate with the various complications described above. This means that the long survival of Medalists is due to both their own efforts in controlling diabetes and their genes, which protect them from the adverse effects of elevated glucose levels. These are very exciting findings which will be published in the journal *Diabetes Care* in the next few months.

In the second phase of the study, we are bringing many of you to Joslin and examining the status of your complications with respect to your eye, kidney, nerve and heart function. We are also studying the metabolic changes in your blood and your body's ability to produce insulin. We are also studying your genes in order to determine whether you have typical type 1 diabetes or a different, yet unknown type, and whether your body is still producing auto-antibodies against insulin producing cells found in the pancreas.

Data from over 200 of you have been analyzed and we have made very exciting discoveries. The data showed that most of you have clinical and laboratory findings consistent with patients who have been identified with "typical" type 1 diabetes. We have confirmed the results of the questionnaire to show that the parameters of glucose control such as hemoglobin A1C and glycated albumin do not correlate with the presence of eye, kidney and nerve dysfunction in the Medalists. The eye studies, which took pictures of the back of the eye, showed that about 40% of the Medalists do not have significant eye disease even after 50-80 years of type 1 diabetes. In addition, we also analyzed the lipid or fat profile of blood samples, which showed that many of you have elevated levels of HDL, the good cholesterol that protects people from developing cardiovascular disease.

From a complications point of view, these findings are very exciting since they showed that 40% of the Medalists have factors or genes which have protected them from developing diabetic eye disease. In the next phase of this study, we are planning to perform genetic studies with the hope of detecting genes which can protect all diabetic patients from developing complications. The results are clearly telling us that further genetic studies are needed in order to find these diabetes complication-preventing genes.

In addition to the exciting findings regarding diabetic complications the results from the Medalists have also yielded an unexpected finding regarding your pancreatic functions. Surprisingly. the pancreatas of over 20% of Medalists appear to produce a small amount of insulin. This finding is clearly very important and exciting since it suggests that in some type 1 diabetic patients, the pancreas, which makes insulin, may still be functional after 50-70 years' duration. If this finding can be confirmed, then it raises the possibility that many type 1 diabetics who have fewer years of diabetes may continue to have functional pancreatic tissues that could make insulin. Thus, in the last few months and in the near future, we have/will bring some of the Medalists back to Joslin for further studies to determine whether their pancreatic islets can potentially make insulin. In response to various known stimulations of insulin secretion

In the above, I have summarized the new findings from the Medalist study, which have clearly suggested that we should do the following: 1.) Further genetic studies are needed to determine which genes are present in approximately 40% of the Medalists that are protective factors for preventing blood vessel problems. 2.) New stimulation tests are needed in order to determine whether some of the Medalists still have functional insulin-producing islets after such a long time with type 1 diabetes. 3.) Further collections from new Medalists must be done in order to continue the study and gather more data.

World domination

In all of that ranting, I forgot to outline my plans for world domination. These include:

1. Apply to the Guinness Book of World Records to develop the world's longest awareness ribbon.
2. Ask people across the country to knit metre-long scarves
3. Make these into a ribbon
4. Sell the scarves to raise money for the Canadian Diabetes Association

And all this by November, diabetes month. Yikes!

A little odd? Perhaps. Fun? Hopefully!

My goal: 2200 scarves. Enough to beat the old record, and enough to have 1 mm of scarf for every person with diabetes in Canada.

A delightful rant

One of my current irritations (well, long standing irritations) is when people say, "Oh, you have diabetes, but you manage it so well. You'll be fine. I mean, I know that some diabetics have problems. In fact, one of my aunt's nephew's cousins had Type 1 diabetes and he drank/smoked/didn't exercise/ate potato chips and he went blind/had kidney failure/had his leg amputed/died. But that won't happen to you."

Yeah, right. I eat a good diet. My doctor tells me that I eat an unnaturally good diet, actually. And I am becoming heavily addicted to running. But you know what? The last 2 weeks my blood sugar has been lousy. Super lousy. All because of this rotten cottonwood.

Allergies make my blood sugar go up. I get up in the morning feeling bad because my blood sugar was high all night. I struggle all day to keep it down, taking nutty amounts of insulin and going for walks when required. I eat less. I eat low carb. Gah! I do it all, and I still get rotten results.

After a couple of weeks of this, last night my pump site failed (stopped working) and my blood sugar rose to a delightful 14. Normal is 4-6. 14 feels foggy, icky, and as if I need to go for a long wade and drink in a desert oasis. Blech. So I was up a lot of the night.

And that's why this "But you manage it so well" is so annoying. I do manage it quite well. But life is rough, and random events happen that send my blood sugar off on an adventure of its own. And I am dragged along with it, growling irritably.

I've been running for 2 weeks now, three times a week. I run after work - on the way home, I head up a local trail. Last time, I got right to the end. I am rather enjoying it, in an "ouch" kind of way. Soon, I will start to wean myself off of the "run 2 minutes, walk 2 minutes" thing, into the "run 2 minutes, walk 1 minute." Aieeeee!

Why am I doing this? What are my evil plans for world domination?
Well, none of the latter, actually.

I hate the thought of any kid growing up with this disease. Of course, 100 years ago none of us would have been here. Not for long. Insulin was invented in 1922. Without that, on a nourishing lettuce and broth diet...well, I wouldn't be here for long. So I am happy that I am here, but this disease is a royal pain, and more.

I get told all the time that "all you need to do is keep your diabetes in control, and you'll be fine." Right. Sure. Tell that to my body. My body with all of its infinite little hormonal variations due to stress, illness, and what have you. My body that reacts to exercise so intensely. Diabetes management is an art, and like any art, it is messy. Fine-tuning is possible, but perfection, impossible. And to fine-tune, I need to listen to my body for signs. Every day, all day, without respite. Or else there are consequences, both long-term and short-term.

A man who was an important advocate for diabetes research in Canada died last week. He was in his 50s, and he slipped into a coma from a night time low. This is one of my greatest fears - it is difficult to realize that your blood sugar is going low when you're asleep. I fear that I will not wake up.

I'm also finding that running is a challenge. It's a good way to eat raisins, though, I've got to say. I love raisins and haven't eaten them since my diagnosis 2 years ago. When I run after work, I still have enough lunch time insulin in my system to bring me low really quickly, if I don't eat. That's where the raisins come in. I think that I am going to be the first person to GAIN weight jogging.

So, where was I - world domination? Ah, tune in next time for an outline of my plan to take over the Guinness Book of World Records. Clue: it involves knitting.