(In)dependence

The tri organization that I belong to is part of insul(in)dependence. I like puns, so ... good name.

I've been thinking about dependence. My mom worried a lot. My reaction? I'll go out and do the thing that worries you, I just won't tell, so you won't worry.

My reaction to diabetes was similar. Putting limits on me? Screw you! I'll go out and run a marathon, I'll show you, fists up....

This works well, sometimes. Certainly it makes life exciting, in a screw you kind of way. Being disobedient can be fun. Wahoo - independence!

But I think that I need to learn how to be dependent too, and I am really bad at that. As I put myself into the hands of many, many doctors, and as I look into my future and see the possibility that some day I might be more dependent and need care, I realize that this is a skill that I need to learn. Possibly the most important skill of all, for me. How to depend on others while still maintaining a strong sense of self-worth and self-direction.